Life

I'm sure there's a time in everyone's life were everyone seems to get married, moving on, moving in and moving out. And you feel stuck. Feelings of jealousy and loneliness come in and appreciation for what you actually have goes out the window. That's how I've been feeling lately.
It seems like my textile centred life is now going to be forgotten as I am about to embark upon a new adventure... in a degree in Occupational therapy. I don't know if its going to work out, I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the course work and reports and research, but I'm going to try. Its another four years.
I feel so many emotions all at once, hopefully I will be able to control them one day. Well anyway, back to textiles for a little bit.
I've decided to again discern my charism, but I feel so unmotivated. I am pretty sure its craftsmanship and so I'm trying to use my gift in personal ways with others - making them things but also working with others.
Here are two textile samplers I made for my friends

100% linen from John Lewis, button handmade in the Scottish Borders, duck egg embroidery thread and embroidery hoop.

Crucifix from bead shop in Northern Ireland, frame from Dunelm Milne.

I'm not too sure what else to do in my discernment, faith seems so complicated, stressful and like you have to have a degree in theology to understand it. I know that that's not what its supposed to be like at all, but there are many times when I feel overwhelmed and not worthy. I enjoy creating things and I enjoy mass and worshipping God through song and prayer but I feel like I'm not trying enough. I guess I'll be shown soon enough what I should be changing.

I came back from Lourdes last week, it was a challenging but fun experience - it was a pilgrimage with the HCPT with volunteers, the elderly and disabled. I enjoyed drawing with one person, he has autism and we both drew a portrait of him, here is my drawing of him:

..X..x.X..x..X..x.X..x..x..